Two Times
by Hellsleprechaun
Summary: Two times Klaus and Stefan were nearly caught together and one time Kol's eyes were scarred for life.


**I do not own the vampire diaries, it belongs to L.J Smith and the CW**

The hot shower poured down heavily, filling the room with a thick layer of steam and the loud noise of running water. It was this that prevented both the vampire and the hybrid from hearing Damon knocking on the bathroom door, and from hearing him give up the polite method and come in anyway.

"Hey ,Stefan?" When Stefan heard his brother's voice, he pushed Klaus off him, from where he had been holding him pressed against the tiled wall of the shower.

"Er...yeah?" He replied distractedly, making rapid gestures at Klaus signalling for him to shut up and not say anything. The blonde just grinned in amusement and eyed Stefan's erection smugly; the younger vampire flipped him the bird and grimaced.

"I've been home for like an hour and you're still in there. Are you still alive? No pun intended." Damon sounded pleased at his own joke, as usual.

"Yes." Stefan ground out, at that moment wishing he wasn't.

"Seriously, what are you doing?" Damon sounded incredulous, as though out of all the horrifying and bizarre things that happened to them on a weekly basis, this was the most unusual of those things.

"I've been busy!" Stefan snapped, and glared at Klaus when he had to cover his face to try and hold in his laughter.

"Oh!" Damon said with a snort, "sorry, I didn't realise you were _entertaining_ yourself in there."

"Wh-," he began to object when the hybrid raised his eyebrows at him. "Yeah..." He trailed off awkwardly.

"Well, I'll be leaving you to that, but just remember- no matter how much you tug on it, it's not going to get any bigger!" He called as he strolled out the door.

Stefan sighed and hung his head in despair; sometimes he wished he had killed his brother long ago.

"And there were you thinking that I was the one with the annoying family." Klaus beamed happily, Stefan glared irritably but leaned in for another kiss.

The next time they were at the Salvatore boarding house, they ensured that Damon was not there, and that he would not be coming back any time soon. They did not want either, a repeat of last time, or worse Damon actually walking in on them and having some kind of brain haemorrhage before locking Stefan in the basement for the rest of his immortal life.

Stefan's floor was littered with hastily discarded clothes, a lamp that had been knocked over, and a pile of books that he had practically thrown from the bed to make room for him and Klaus.

He was currently lying on his back, with Klaus above him, kissing and sucking his way down his chest.

He gasped loudly and moaned as the older vampire nibbled at his side.

There was a loud knocking at the door. "Stefan? Are you in there?" Elena enquired, her voice bright anf friendly.

Klaus held a finger to his lips, in the universal _shh_ gesture, he then made several further gestures that made Stefan want to barricade the door and prevent anyone from ever interrupting them again. However, he knew Elena, had known her for a while, she knew he was in there and wasn't going to leave.

"Hey, Elena- Don't come in!" The door slammed shut again quickly before she could see anything.

"Why?" Her tone was slightly alarmed.

"Because," he turned to his boyfriend in the hopes that he would have some kind of idea, he shrugged, picked up one of Stefan's diaries and began flicking through it unhelpfully.

"I'm writing in my diary, and I need to be alone." _Really, Stefan? Really? That was the best lie you could manage?_

Klaus appeared to be thinking the same thing.

"Erm... okay, I guess we can just talk later?"

"That would be great!" He called eagerly, praying to anyone who'd listen that she would take the hint and go away.

Apparently somebody, somewhere was feeling merciful because they heard footsteps retreating down the stairs and down into the living room where the TV was playing noisily.

"Next time, we go to your house because my family and friends appear to all be cock blocks." Stefan groaned.

Kol arrived home to find that nobody appeared to be in. He sighed to himself- that was no fun. He was about to leave again, to go to the grill and find some entertainment when he heard a sound from upstairs.

"Hello?" He called and waited for a response- none came.

"Elijah? Nik? Bekah? Possible burglar? Anybody?" He smiled, remembering the last time he'd discovered an intruder in his home- now _that_ had been a good night.

He wandered up the stairs quietly, hoping to terrify whoever had been foolish enough to think that they could steal anything from him or his family, by sneaking up on them.

He heard another sound, a hissing almost, it was coming from Niklaus's room; he approached the door silently and then flung it open as dramatically as possible, creating an ear-splitting crash as it smacked against the wall.

He let out a loud shout of shock and covered his eyes.

"What are you doing, Kol?" He heard Nik demand furiously.

"I thought there was a burglar but it was... this." He pulled a disgusted face and indicated towards where he guessed the two of them where. "You ruined the innocence of me eyes."

"Oh, don't be such a prude, brother. You haven't been pure and virginal for a long time, and I'm almost certain your eyes have never been innocent." Klaus dismissed him.

"Perhaps so, but you're my brother- there are some things I never needed to see, wanted to see or shall ever recover from seeing!" He cried.

"If you want the innocence of your ears to remain intact, I'd suggest you find something to occupy the rest of the day with, away from the house."

Kol made a pained sound and went to close the door behind him, when Klaus stopped him. "Do you need a knife?"

"Why?"

"So you can gouge your eyes out?" He could hear the laughter in his brother's voice.

"No. What has already been seen cannot be unseen." He muttered forlornly before leaving the house as quickly as he could manage.

When he returned three days later, Elijah and Rebekah were both curious as to why he refused to look Niklaus in the eyes, and had developed a new habit of knocking before entering any room of the house, but decided that they'd be better off not asking.

"I bet he walked in on Nik and Stefan." Rebekah theorised with Elijah.

He looked at her for a long moment. "Don't be ridiculous, Rebekah, why on earth would the two of them want anything to do with each other- they hate each other." He reminded her calmly.

"True, but that probably leads to some good hate sex." There was an uncomfortable pause.

"Excuse me." Elijah said, folding up his newspaper, dropping it on the couch and rising to his feet.

"Why?" Rebekah questioned, furrowing her eyebrows in confusion.

"I'm going to go and try to burn that image out of my brain."

**The end.**

**This was quite awful and I have no idea why I even wrote it, but it wouldn't stop popping into my brain until I did and here we are.**

**Please review.**


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